SANTA FAQs

Here are a list of some questions Santa gets asked and the answers he gives. This list is always growing with updates every year.

Are you the REAL Santa?

. "Well I certainly hope so. Are you the real you?"

How do you deliver the presents in 1 night?

. "Well there are 2 things you need to know, on Christmas Eve time works differently, we call it YULETIME. At midnight on Christmas Eve going into Christmas Day time is aligned across the entire universe. We then use a device called a TIME SNAPPER that stops time from continuing until all gifts are delivered."

Why do you look different from when I seen you the other day?

. "So I am only able to be everywhere at once on Christmas Eve. Before then I select some special people around the world that have a great Christmas Spirit. They help me keep the LIST updated and spread cheer to all...apart from the fake bearded ninny muggins, they are nothing to do with me."

How do you get into houses without chimneys?

. "I have special keys that open doors and portals. I am also able to send my Christmas Spirit into multiple places at once during Yuletime on Christmas Eve."

How old are you?

. "I celebrate my birthday on the 15th March and I was born in the year 270AD. I stopped counting after I turned 1000 though."

What is Mrs Claus like?

. "Carol is a lovely, caring and beautiful woman. She makes amazing cookies. By no means is she a frumpy old woman depicted in images."

Can I have [insert expensive gift/animal]?

. "Here is the thing, when I put my hand in the sack, it gives me what you truly desire and need. Although it does not give me living animals. That is something I sort out with your parents. When the time is right and you are ready, then I am able to assist."

How do the Reindeer fly?

. "The girls are fuelled by Christmas Spirit and a childs belief. They also love carrots, parsnips and potatoes."

How do you know if I have been good?

. "I have helpers, elves and special satellites all around the globe that helps me keep track of all the children in the world."

Do you really give coal to Naughty children?

. "The truth is I see the good in all children. My brother Krampus though...not so much. He is the one that deals with the naughty list."